Inane

There’s one where a senatorial candidate prances about with his family, just laughing with mouth wide open, and he is pro-family, kuno. In another polimmercial, all he does is wave back at a Pacquiao look-alike and Keanna Reeves with her front bumpers shouting ‘Tol. And a plastic smile (how many takes, ‘Tol?) as if advertising a new set of dental braces? What was the message?

Have you seen those of a candidate whose survey ratings have languished at depths that would compete with the Surigao Deep that faces his hometown ? Twin frames of poor people with their simple dreams, such as food on the table or medicine for their ailments, delivered listlessly, as in reading from an idiot board, then candidate suddenly appears and says, "Pangarap kong tuparin ang pangarap mo!"

"E hanggang pangarap ka lang pala", a Zone 89 Paco resident shouted at the TV set while his barkada, drinking their nightly shots of "ador-ador" (that’s Emperador, Matador, at iba pang "ador), rolled in laughter.

Candidate Pro-Pi could just have said "Pangarap mo, tutuparin ko!", which is declarative rather than wish ko lang, but then again, the ad agency must have felt that sounded like a poor copy of Johnny Ponce Enrile’s "Problema Mo, Sagot Ko!" battlecry in 2004. Well, Manong Johnny won, but as far as candidate Pro-Pi’s chances are concerned, we can only ask his friend Garci to extrapolate deep, deep down.

What ad agency did that, pray tell? Did Pro-Pinoy, as the same ad does a play on the candidate’s name, spend all the money on buying gazillions of air time, and forget about good taste, or even, good sense?

And then there’s my grade four classmate, whose ad simply capitalizes on his nickname, and uses a returning OFW with a long and incoherent spiel inside a taxicab, just to introduce her "Tito sa Senado". Why, even Eat Bulaga producer Romy Jalosjos must have cringed in his Muntinlupa cell at the utter lack of creativity.

Of course Boom Tarat Tarat has been corrupted into ineffectivity. Kawawa naman si Lito Camu. Naging Boom Corrupt, Corrupt na, naging Kurakot pa! And with La Gloria, misma, cheering, oh wow, that’s what one calls a product-launching disaster of titanic proportions.

Chiz Escudero’s feel-good 15-seconder is what one calls a strategic and cost-effective ad. It wants to shore up the candidate’s awareness, which is still in the 80’s and wants to reach the high 90’s. It has a catchy, youthful jingle. And it projects the candidate smiling. Feel good, and at 60 percent of the cost compared to a regular 30-seconder, it delivers. Congratulations to whoever created the ad.

If Manny Villar were running for senator the first time, I would understand the need for some dance sequence in his otherwise well-crafted ad. But he is now Senate President. Yet then again, I am not masa. It’s not my vote the ad seeks to influence.

My kids still think Alan Cayetano’s ad is the best, making wise use of animation mixed with real action photos to deliver the message of a young man zealously fighting for the right causes. Take a bow, Greg.

Of course I am biased, and again I say, take another bow, Greg Garcia. Ping Lacson’s ad projected the candidate at his best – serious and determined, but adds a new dimension to the man’s public persona – heart. It’s also probably the only ad where the candidate never looked at the camera. He just did his thing, so naturally, and the cameraman simply recorded the movements. Even that feel-good ending where Ping embraces his grandson was not "acted". Natural na natural ang dating, as the experts would say.

What would friend Joker have? A repeat of "Ubusin ang mga corrupt!" in all fighting frenzy, and then a frame where he is shown smiling sheepishly and exclaiming, "Joke only!"

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Noblesse oblige. I knew from the start that an Aquino would not do it. Tessie Aquino Oreta filed her certificate of candidacy and used "TAO" as her alias, and her married name, with the Oreta spelled in full. Many expressed fears that she would use Tessie Aquino just to spoil her nephew Noynoy’s chances. But no, she did not.

And I knew she would not. For all that her detractors say of her, Tessie, like any other Aquino sired by Don Benigno and Dona Aurora, has the right sense of class. And she would never sabotage her beloved brother Ninoy’s son, no matter how she may have felt personal hurt.

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Manong Ernie Maceda decries friend Dodong Nemenzo’s sweeping denunciation of all trapos, when the former UP president said both tickets reek of them.

There are good trapos and bad trapos, adopting the political pejorative at face value. But as Manong Ernie asks, where have the non-trapos gone? When the senatorial slate was being formed, why did non-trapos like Randy David and Dinky Soliman, and Leah Navarro reject the opposition’s repeated offers to stand up and be counted? They would have made highly attractive candidates to the middle class, and in a campaign, could likewise get the masa vote. Sonia Roco stands out for her courage, despite initially low survey ratings. That’s one candidate who I will not only vote for, but will campaign vigorously for.

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The Department of Injustice does it again! It has filed charges of sedition against Tribune publisher and editor Ninez Cacho Olivarez, and columnists Mentong Laurel and Ike Seneres. Using articles written in a daily as evidence to "prove" that these journalists were in cahoots with rebels is not only downright insane, it also violates the Bill of Rights.

But then again the Department of Injustice cannot be expected to respect the Constitution, most especially its inviolable guarantee of the freedom of the press. That Constitution does not require the press to be fair; it simply recognizes its right to be free, free, free – at all times and in all political climes. Justice is an oxymoron emblazoned in the facade of that other building in Padre Faura.