The only non-ZTE mail came from Lorenza Rones who remembers reading "a long time ago" my piece on separate restaurant bills; my endorsement of the KKB – kanya-kanyang bayad – when out with friends. She wants a reprint to show to her daughter who’s starting to socialize. Yes, Lorenza, what a joy to write about anything else other than that foul NBN-ZTE scheme.

There are relatives and friends who insist on bringing us to eat at their favorite expensive restaurants.

I cannot match their extravagance. Most of those types are show-off yabang who cannot afford their lifestyle. Others inherited fortunes, or have CEO husbands. I inherited no fortune, and marrying for money proves it’s not worth it.

My funds have always needed watching. Security is having enough stashed away in the bank for unexpected rainy day or rainy years.

The type described above (with inherited fortune, well-placed husbands, or the show-offs) cannot relate to my compulsion not to spend it all today. When I’m paying with my hard-earned money, a P35 fast food sandwich gives me the same feeling of self-esteem as a P350 gourmet meal.

I don’t need the perceived status eating at a 5-star hotel. I’m not willing to divide the bill right down the middle when the restaurant was chosen without consensus.

When invited out by a suitor, that’s a different story. He invited you to impress you at a 5-star hotel. He saved money for that date. I’m not talking about real dates. I’m talking about hanging out with friends or relatives, and then being dragged into an expensive eating place where the bill is split equally among all those at the table.

This matter of dates confronts most women from age 16 to 66. But what about those instances when it wasn’t exactly a date? You and one of the opposite sex happened to get hungry at the same time. Or co-workers walked out of the office at the same time for lunch. You’re willing to be in his company, but you don’t want to be beholden to him.

Insist of dutch treat. Tell the waiter to bring separate bills. Pay for your own food. Separate bills with men you happened to be along with; men you want to keep at a distant, platonic level; men you have no interest in. Don’t let them spend for your meals. Separate bills, too, with relatives.

Even between women friends, "separate bills" is the best. Be cautious of the repeated invitations from rich or yabang girlfriends or relatives. Tell her and tell the waiter that you want separate bills. She can order caviar, veal, prawns and expensive wine. All that will go to her bill. If all you want or can afford is a cup of chili and crackers, that’s what you order and that’s what you pay for.

Many Filipinos will find my suggestion of separate bills un-Filipino. It’s usually yabang when one insists, "Ako… ako magbabayad." (At the end of the month, she doesn’t have enough for rent and Meralco.) And a few times of allowing this person to pick up the tab, she begins to feel cheated, put upon. It was pretend generosity. She’ll talk about it, and her gripe will come back to your via a circuitous path: "I always pay for her meals."

Separate bills could have discouraged this hypocrisy and pretend-generosity.