N American of
Africa lineage may be inter-ested to become president of the USA. Taking up
residency at the White House creates no problem for an African-American born and
raised in the US culturally.
In fact, the only issue against Barack Obama becoming the
next president of the USA, as far as his opponents are concerned, is the name of
his grandfather, Hussein. Obama never knew Hussein, but was given the middle
name by his parents.
"I am a devout Christian. I have been a member of the same
church for 20 years. I pray to Jesus every night," Obama said at an appearance
in the rural southern Ohio town of Nelsonville. He said he wanted to halt
"confusion that has been deliberately perpetrated."
But a Fil-Am? He would have more problems than a name living
in the White House. A Fil-Am would have trouble living in the White House. Some
are the following:
The White House is not big enough for a Filipino family. The
president wouldn’t think to have any of his family living elsewhere than in the
White House with him. His kin will have to fit in that limited space at 1600
Pennsylvania Avenue – 12 sons and daughters, their spouses, children and the
children’s alalays; brothers, sisters, in-laws, nieces and nephews and their
children, spouses current and former, grandchildren and their nannies, cousins,
aunt and uncles, several sets of grandparents, illegitimate children, adopted
children, step children, foster children, godchildren, student seminarians,
friends’ and relatives’ children who happened to be studying in Washington DC.
The White House is not big enough for such extended Fil-Am family.
Not enough parking in the White House for all the Honda
Civics, Toyota Celica, vintage ‘80s Mercedes-Benzes, Chrysler vans, presidential
jeepneys, tricycles, depajakcycles and horse-drawn caretelas.
White House guests like to talk American politics. Fil-Am
First Family is more conversant in hospitality industry, computer science,
accounting, food, like no restaurant has decent adobo in Washington, DC.
Secret Service will not allow all those rosaries swinging
from rearview mirrors, St. Jude statuettes on dashboards, rainbow tapes on
windshield of Air Force One, and nagging women backseat-driving. Filipinos are
promotion-oriented. The position of US president is not interesting for a
Filipino because it has no chance for promotion.
The Fil-Am president will have to re-learn his table habits.
Used to eating with his fingers, now he has to hold an upside-down fork stabbing
the food with the left hand, then push more food up the back of the fork with
the knife held by the right hand and getting this into his mouth without spills.
Filipinos’ lactose intolerance, including the president’s, is
not considered politically correct. The Fil-Am president won’t be able to train
the White House staff to take off their shoes before entering a room, nor can
the president train them to respond to his "Pssssst, pssssst!!"
The First Family wants security metal bars on all White House
windows, but there are too many windows, and no budget for window bars.
The Fil-Am president wants installed reverse-gear
whistle-beep on White House limos, but the Secret Service won’t agree. The First
Family owns only one "Last Supper" but there are too many dining rooms in the
White House. Neither is there a place to hang the wood-carved giant fork’n’spoon.
The Fil-Am president cannot stop referring to the capitol, DC, as Daly City
in California where he grew up. No money allocated in budget to purchase karaoke
sing-along machines for every room in the White House.