I’m sharing with you excerpts of that interview. They make good reflections this Lenten season:

Q: Although you have consistently downplayed many people’s "hero worship" of you, you are regarded by many as a "hero." Aren’t you scared?

A: Of course, I’m scared. It’s a huge responsibility. It’s a cross to bear…. Ayaw kong maging daan or cause for other people to be sinful.

Q: How do you deal with the hero worship?

A: I will never allow it get to my head. Yung iba, nakikita ka sa camera, sa TV masaya na. I always remind myself, the people who were shouting "Hallelujah" when Jesus entered Jerusalem were the same people who also had him killed. I just want to save my soul.

Q: When you go on campus tour, you are welcomed like a hero, while the opposite happens to your good friend, Romy Neri, like when he went to Davao, he was booed.

A: He is very much capable of handling that. Emotions are so fleeting. It can change.

Q: Sen. Ping Lacson asked how to describe Gloria Arroyo and he said, " hopeless." When asked to describe Neri he said, "may hope".

(Lozada nodded in agreement.)

Q: Where is the hope coming from?

A: I know him well enough.

Q: In the case of Deputy Executive Secretary Manny Gaite, was it was it painful for you seeing him being raked over the coals?

A: Yes. He seems to be a good man. It pains me to see good people suspend their moral faculties just to cover up the lies of their higher authority. They are no different from the war criminals na kapag ini-imbistigahan mo… in moral psychology, it’s called the Lucifer effect.

In moral psychology , it’s already proven that men and women will generally suspend their moral faculties when confronted by higher authority at close proximity. I think that is what is happening to other people. I’m very careful not to be in close proximity to the people there. Napapansin mo rin si Neri, hindi rin nagsasama sa mga visit-visit.

Q: How has it been the past 30 days?

A: It’s like a lifetime. Very difficult, lahat na fears mo nandiyan. The difficulty is if you decide to carry the torch of truth, or the light of truth, it will shine upon you first. The difficulty is masagasaan mo malalaking tao, mga kaibigan mo, madamay sa iyo. Pamilya mo. You put your family in harm’s way. Wala ng makikipagnegosyo sa yo, your future becomes uncertain. Your conscience bothers you. That’s the most difficult part. During that time, lahat ng consultahin mo, ang sinasabi ako pa dapat magdepensa ng posisyon (ng gobierno). I’ve been running away from this. Lahat na kasama ko sa gobierno, advise nila, huwag mo nang sabihin yun, wala namang mangyayari. You will just get in trouble. As one cabinet member said, "Hindi natin ibibigay ito (the government) ng walang patayan."

Q: Is that the prevailing attitude in government?

A. Hindi lang sa gobierno. Pati yung sa religious. One member of the religious, I won’t tell you his name but he is close to a cabinet member, knew the whole story but he never encouraged me to tell the truth. Ang sabi lang niya, kung magescalate ang threat sa yo, sabihin mo sa akin. I can make it stop.

Q: That means he has control over the source of the threat?

A: Seguro.

Q: You never imagined the impact of your testimony on the public?

A: Never. I had a more selfish reason. Maybe just to save my soul. I never realized that I would get to touch the country’s soul as well. Marami daw naiyak sa akin? I think I affected people three ways; One, I inspired a good number of people to embrace the truth as well as to seek the truth. Two, disbelief. It guess the disbelief is coming from the people who, in their minds, can’t do what I did. Parang they can never believe that somebody will act and go through all the trouble without the inducement of money, of power, or influence. Ayaw maniwala. Punong-puno sa pagdududa. I think the disbelief was coming from their own set of values. Maybe these people, wala na talagang conscience, hindi na nila maisip. They are completely utilitarian. They say, pakawala ako ni Lacson. These are the people who are falling into Malacañang lies. The third reaction is coming from those who wish to destroy me. Ito yung mga tao that would like to keep people in the dark. That they would not want the light of truth to shine upon what they are doing, where they are king. That’s where they are good at. Dahil nabubuhay sila sa dilim. If everyone starts saying we want to seek the truth, then they will know what’s happening in the government. Yari yung mga taong yun. How do people manifest these reactions? The first group are the ones joining protest rallies and attending truth forums. The second group are the ones saying, dalhin sa korte yan. Doon kayo magpakita ng ebidensya. To them, testimonial evidence is not evidence. That’s why I tell them to bring out Abalos’ phone bills. The third group are the ones doing what (Interior Secretary Ronnie) Puno does- sham hearings, sham investigation. Huwag na natin ipa-alam sa tao.

Now, which group do you belong? Oh, there’s a fourth group. Yung ayaw maki-alam. We have not met that group because wala nga silang paki-alam.