NBN-ZTE star witness Rodolfo "Jun" Lozada yesterday bemoaned the hardships he and his family are suffering while those he implicated in the broadband scandal continue with their unaltered lifestyles.

"I cannot understand my situation, including my family's situation. Napakahirap na nagdudusa ka ng hindi mo naiintindihan," Lozada said in his talk after the Easter mass at St. Joseph's College in Quezon City.

The culprits, meanwhile, continue to live it up, he said.

"Ngayon hindi sila nagdurusa. Alam ko dahil sa i-tinext sa akin na lagi daw nasa golf course. Yun ang nagpapabigat sa pagdurusa ko. Na yung iba na ayaw ibigay sa tao (ang katototanan) hanggang ngayon masaya buhay nila," he said.

Lozada resurfaced after he was abducted last February 5 and testified before the Senate's ZTE inquiry that negotiations for the broadband deal would have been smooth had former Comelec chair Benjamin Abalos Sr. not insisted on his $130 million "commission."

Lozada said that in the past he and his family spent Lent with his mother in Bicol. But this year, he had to cancel it due to security considerations.

Lozada said he never expected he would undergo so much hardship just for telling what he knows.

"Suddenly the life that you know will suddenly be erased. I don't know how you would feel about it. Napakahirap. Di mo alam kung anong gagawin mo," Lozada said.

Lozada expressed hope that his struggle will not go for naught. "All I did was give my little piece of truth."

Former President Corazon Aquino asked those who attended the Mass to pray that Lozada be steadfast in fighting for the truth.

"Manalangin po tayo na si Jun Lozada ay hindi mawawalan ng pag-asa at siya pa rin ang mag i-inspire sa ating lahat," Aquino said during her talk after the mass.

Mass celebrant Fr. Rey Galoy told Lozada that "whistleblowers are the voice of conscience."

"Tunay na may mga taong magdududa sa iyong ginawa. Pero ako ay lubos na naniniwala na kung may nagdududa man sa iyong pagpapahayag ng katotohahan, ikaw ay banal. You are entirely a different person," the priest said. - Job Realubit